December Sun & Fun

Grades
School ended last week. I'm not certain about my grades.

 I'm looking to transfer this year. I think my odds are good. At least I'll e going somewhere and not stuck in the same place for another year. I don't care where I end up. I just want to finish my degree. I just want to have a place of my own. And then what?

Training
In February I'm doing this thing called Tough Mudder. It's an endurance obstacle course: 10-12 miles and twenty-something obstacles. Team work is big. You're supposed to help anyone you can along the route. It should be fun.

Before November, I wasn't able to swim. But when I heard that there would be obstacles that required swimming, I decided now was the best time.

I started taking swim classes at a YMCA. There's this cute lifeguard there, but I don't really have any opportunities to talk with her. Plus, I don't even know how old she is. For all I know she can be 25 or 17. I should ask her next time.


I've also joined a gym. I'm now swimming 2-3 times a week. I was so proud of myself this morning when I went swimming. This morning was the first time I was able to swim freestyle and breath at the same time. My speed is nothing to rave about and my strokes/breathing are pretty sloppy, but I'm just happy I was finally able to do it. Pluuus, swimming is a great workout.

Girlfriend
Still no girlfriend.

I have a phobia, I think, of revealing or sharing with other people in real-life. I'm afraid of being vulnerable. I'm afraid of dropping my guard and giving myself to another person. I need to find the confidence that I know I have within me before I start dating anyone. I have this problem with friendships, too. None of my real-life friendships are too personal. I get uncomfortable if there isn't a certain mental distance. Does that make any sense?