Names

Names change
warp
shape-shift
are erased like footprints in the tide
but that love of mine
I gave to you
now your love
cannot.

Song for Porches

At the end of the block,
a car stereo is blasting
oldies
too loudly;
the bass rattles and thumps
in monotone changes---BRRR-BRRR, BRRR!
From the corner of my eye
I catch a mechanical firefly
just over the horizon of the houses;
this moving star is blinking at me:
the passengers are saying hello,
fresh from adventure.
Kid's laughter erupts somewhere down the block,
beyond my sight.
The scrunched houses
and black asphalt
lay good acoustics,
and carry the spirited uproar
a good half mile.
Blinding headlights--car attached--
roll down the street, slowed by the night
and the playing children now being called in by their mothers.
Dogs like gnats barking at things in the dark.
I perceive the firefly again
sailing in the opposite direction—
(“Drop me a postcard! I’ll be here!”).
And finally,
I,
the porch-sitting observer,
thinking in the moment
of these things,
sit on my porch,
and revere quietly.

Day 2 (nonsequential)

Dear Crush,

I'm doing this thing where I write letters to thirty different people in my life with specific relationships to me--like my best friend or my parents, for example.

You are Day 2: Write a letter to your crush.

I've known you for about seven years. Actually, a correction: I met you seven years ago, we talked a lot the first year, then almost nothing the last six years--not even hello's.

I knew I liked you immediately. It may seem shallow to first mention looks, but that's usually the first thing most people notice about each other. It's kind of like a greeting before the greeting. The first thing you said to me before speaking was: "Look at me--I'm cute, adorable, and gorgeous." I don't think you're vain enough to say these things out loud, but you're definitely smart enough to know it. People tell you all the time how pretty you are! Every picture you post on Facebook gets comments about your beauty. This doesn't bother me much though; those people are only verifying what I know.

You're a cheerful person. I like that. You're also adventurous and love to hike. More things I like. You've got a good sense of humor on top of a sharp mind. You're kind and warm. You're loving and affection. You're friendly and you give comfort when needed. But these are things you already know about yourself.

Now I kind of dislike this letter because it seems like I'm gushing out verbal gobs of gooey, sticky emotion. I'm not trying to, really. These are just some things I've noticed about you. Feel free to correct me at any time by refusing to finish this letter.



Too late.

Day 1

To My Best Friend:

It's obvious you are my best friend, though how intimate that term implies our relationship to stand is dubious.

We are friends, no doubt; we've been friends since middle school. We became good friends, great friends, then better friends, though it wasn't until senior year of high school that we became best friends, I think. It's was just us alone at lunch, mostly you who I talked to. My shy and reserved nature almost guaranteed you'd be my best friend.

I've not had an absolute best friend, like how you see on t.v. or the movies. Though, to be honest, I don't know if those exist. Fiction or not, I've always striven to have that kind of relationship with someone. I've always had friends; I'm not one to be alone most of the time, though I've had my share of lonely times. But I've never had serious relationships--not until middle school when we formed a close group of friends with those other guys. And even though we didn't immediately connect, I think we have a stronger bond now because it took years to develop our relationship. We have a history; we have stories together. Our friendship doesn't rely on stupidity; it has a strength all to it's own. We have respect for each other, we show kindness each other. I can spill bits of my soul with sober sincerity to you and you'd accept me. It's a nice, quiet kind of respect, kindness, and love.

But that doesn't mean you don't annoy the hell out of me sometimes.

Haha.

I think I will too

30 DAY CHALLENGE:

WRITE A LETTER TO THESE PEOPLE :

Day 1 — Your Best Friend

Day 2 — Your Crush

Day 3 — Your parents

Day 4 — Your sibling (or closest relative)

Day 5 — Your dreams

Day 6 — A stranger

Day 7 — Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush

Day 8 — Your favorite internet friend

Day 9 — Someone you wish you could meet

Day 10 — Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to

Day 11 — A Deceased person you wish you could talk to

Day 12 — The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain

Day 13 — Someone you wish could forgive you

Day 14 — Someone you’ve drifted away from

Day 15 — The person you miss the most

Day 16 — Someone that’s not in your state/country

Day 17 — Someone from your childhood

Day 18 — The person that you wish you could be

Day 19 — Someone that pesters your mind—good or bad

Day 20 — The one that broke your heart the hardest

Day 21 — Someone you judged by their first impression

Day 22 — Someone you want to give a second chance to

Day 23 — The last person you kissed

Day 24 — The person that gave you your favorite memory

Day 25 — The person you know that is going through the worst of times

Day 26 — The last person you made a pinky promise to

Day 27 — The friendliest person you knew for only one day

Day 28 — Someone that changed your life

Day 29 — The person that you want tell everything to, but too afraid to

Day 30 — Your reflection in the mirror

Math Isn't For Everyone

Well, shoot. I'm back where I was at the end of May. I'm facing the risk of failing my math class. Tomorrow's the final, and if I don't do well--meaning roughly an A--I'll probably fail the class. Once that happens, all bets are off on my future. I honestly don't know what will happen. In a way I'm petrified. Today I felt nauseous and my thinking was incomprehensible from the stress.

But for another reason, I'm glad. I've been feeling very stagnant lately, and I think if I do fail the class--75% chance I will--I'll take my work more seriously.

It feels like this upcoming school year will be a good one. I've got all kinds of wonderful things on my horizon in the next few years, opening vistas to a marvelous future--including getting my bachelor's and simply growing up. It seems strange to talk about my future, as if I were evaluating my life on New Years, but why should we only evaluate our future on January 1? I think we should be able to any time. Heck, we're already past the halfway mark in 2010. Can you believe it? So much is the same, yet so much has changed, and so much will change. I'm more mature. I'm no longer that kid I was fresh out of high school; I'm now that kid one year out of high school. Haha.

Anyways, sorry for that small tangent. Returning to my original thought, I just want to say I'm feeling happy again despite my lack of success in mathematics.

Oh, by the way, in case you haven' t noticed, I can't stand being under stress, which is largely why I avoid it--I'm a go-with-the-flow kind of guy. When I'm too worried, I get saaaaaaad....

Dear

You know that generic, hypothetical 5'7'' bombshell I was talking about earlier when I boldly stated I wasn't interested in relationships at the moment? Well, I was wrong.

She's 5'3''. And I've fallen--hard--for her. And you know what? I'm so glad!

Nothing's definite yet, but I've very excited about the upcoming weeks.

Opportunity

When life gives us an opportunity and we choose to accept it wholeheartedly, it's best to pursue this course of action no matter what.

That's how I feel right now. I haven't been this excited about something in my entire life, I think. I'm hopeful beyond rationale.