may 1 2013

i'm working on a poem at the moment. i think it's pretty good. i hope it'll win me some unknown prize or something, but that's unlikely. really unlikely, i guess.

i've been reading some poetry lately. i've read "mending wall," "the oven bird," "the gift outright," "nothing gold can stay," etc, etc. by robert frost. i have a book of his most well-known poetry. a few years ago i hated his poems. now i like them. maybe it was the way i read them.

i eat a lot. i have to eat at least every three hours or i get light-headed. i eat a lot of bananas and apples. why do you care? i don't know. . .

today is the birthday of the girl i thought i loved in high school. i haven't seen or spoken to her in about four years. don't know why, but i still remember her birthday. i wonder if she would remember me. . . ? if i ever see her again, i must apologize for the shitty things i did to her--like ignore her, pretend to be angry at her, blame her for my misery. oh yeah, she was a quasi-friend, mostly acquaintance of mine. that's how she was aware of the things i did.

i used to be a really shitty person. now i'm just a shit person. i'm trying hard to stop being so shitty.

shitty: the word of the day. noun--excrement. see: poo, feces, fecal matter, myself.

i think it would be fun to drunkenly make-out with my friends older sister for a night. it's not going to happen though. probably not. can't rule anything out, you know what i mean?

i'm too sex-crazed for my own good.

god, i'd make a shitty boyfriend.