To Do

What do I do when the sun blares cold nothings, and my wife always watches t.v. in a different room than me, and my kids live in their rooms, and my cat never purrs when I pet him, and my shoulders are always tense like I've been sitting down for a really long time, and my eyes are always dry and hurt whenever I open them after closing them, and my feet feel squished in plastic shoes, and my car's maintenance light is on but it hasn't broken yet, plus I only have $150 in my account, and I feel like having sex is what only a younger version of me did, and it takes me four minutes to pee when in my twenties I could do it on command, and the music I like only plays on oldie stations, and my car doesn't have gas, and my kids are assholes and my wife's ignorant, and I'm always lonely like I'm hungry?

What do I do then?

The Inconspicuous Burden

Now: I'm tired; I'm frustrated; I'm jaded; I'm disgusted almost beyond control. Why? Because I have stuff. It's not that I have stuff though; it's that I have stuff I don't need! It's too much.

This isn't to say I'm being unappreciative or childish. This is more an issue of extravagance beyond the necessary, beyond the reasonable, and of inflated desires popping impulses in my brain to buy things every day of my life.

It's just too much.

Why do I need all this stuff? Why do I need $600s worth of gym equipment? Why do I need a treadmill when I can run outside? Why do I need to buy a new phone if my old one is still working; and even so, why do I need to buy an expensive one? Can't I be satisfied with a cheaper model?

I don't need any of this; I don't need the burden of owning all this stuff either.

(For the record, I've never bought $600 gym equipment or a treadmill, but my brother has. I am, however, guilty of buying an expensive phone for no good reason last time I upgraded a few years ago--never again, though.)