Valentine's 2015

Though there's no need to explain this, my friend Frank's dad died today -- valentines day, 2015. he had a heart attack a few days ago, monday, i think. he had open-heart surgery wednesday; one blocked bypass artery turned into four. surgery complicated, they transferred him to a better hospital. my friends and i visited on wednesday night around 10 pm. frank was too busy dealing with business to register anything emotionally. we joked around for a bit. things weren't as bad yet. i was there when the doctor -- surgeon -- came to frank. he said they did all they could, and even though they'll try to do more, "it doesn't look good." where those magical words or what? suddenly it all seemed so helpless, hopeless. i never knew such bare words constructing reality exist.

what more is there to say? frank's dad died on valentines day, 2015, and frank will carry that blockage in his heart for the rest of his life -- just as his father did.

try as i might, i can never fully understand frank's despair until one of my own parents finally passes.

there's no reason or cause or logical chain of causes that resulted in this. there's no irony or metanarrative. there's no myth or leaden-tipped arrows involved here. it's just the heart of a 60 year old man, father of my friend since 6th grade, and the doctors who did the best their human hands and hearts and minds could.

time and events in human history are fucked. we are all fucked. nothing greater than this.