I hope

I want so much more, you know? But that's bad. I know to want is bad. But I can't dissolve it away.

Some guy honked at me in the school parking lot. I was walking to my car when he pulled up alongside me. I turned and smiled at the girl in the passenger seat. When I turned back around a car horn startled me. I turned around. The girl was laughing, pointing at the guy driving. I stared at her and him, even though I couldn't see him because of the glare from the sun.

"Why?" I asked myself. "Why?"

 The girl got self-conscious and played with her hair as I stared for five or six more seconds. I raised my hand--you know, palm down, facing toward them -- to end my staring. I thought about not leaving, just so that guy wouldn't get my parking space. Then I reconsidered. As I pulled away, all I thought was, "Please, get out of my life. I don't want people like you in it. I struggle enough without people like you in it. Don't exist with me."

Because fuck vengeance and getting angry. It's the guys problem, his own insecurity. For what? Smiling at his girlfriend? That guy's living his own life and I'm just a character in it. He's got problems too. Why get angry at him for suffering like me?