Another list, another zen story, a mess of things

A list of things I'm excited for in 2012:
--I'd be lying if I said turning twenty-one was not my most anticipated event of the next year. I guess you know where my priorities are now.
--Finally transferring out of community college and into a university.
--People will finally stop talking about 2012 Mayan Doomsday.
--I wasn't very excited for the previous two films, but I'm actually looking forward to watching The Dark Knight Rises this summer.
--[insert other stuff later]


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Muddy Road

"Tanzan and Ekido were once traveling together down a muddy road. A heavy rain was still falling.
Coming around a bend, they met a lovely girl in a silk kimono and sash, unable to cross the intersection.
'Come on, girl,' said Tanzan at once. Lifting her in his arms, he carried her over the mud.
Ekido did not speak again until that night when they reached a lodging temple. Then he no longer could restrain himself. 'We monks don't go near females,' he told Tanzan, 'especially not young and lovely ones. It is dangerous. Why did you do that?'
'I left the girl there,' said Tanzan. 'Are you still carrying her?'"

From Zen Flesh, Zen Bones: A Collection of Zen and Pre-Zen Writings, compiled by Paul Reps and Nyogen Senzaki.


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It was like 75 degrees today.

Today's sunset was pink and very, very nice. It was striped with a light blue, like early afternoon. It looked like candy. Someone far away was witnessing that azure sky appear in the East, while my sky turned dark from the East.

Hahahaha! I just realized someone could describe something being in the East, but to me, it could be in my West, and that they're both so freaking arbitrary, it shouldn't even matter. Just like how people think the Earth is upside-down if Australian is 'on-top' of a map. I'd love to buy one of those 'upside-down' maps.

I feel like I'm wasting away from doing nothing all day. I sleep in until noon, and then go on the internet until one in the morning, then repeat the process all over again. This is not a life in fulfillment, I can tell you that. I can't wait to go back to school. I can't wait to become a big-shot whatever it is I am.

I'm constantly worried and scared by the never-ending stream of coming events.

What am I even talking about? What am I trying to say?

Surprisingly, this whole thing sums up how I feel at the moment.