Been thinking about relationships a lot lately. I need one, I want one. They aren't so bad, are they? Someone to kiss, someone to hold. Isn't it normal to think this way at 20? It's biological; nothing could be more natural. We are animals, thinking animals--praying and studying and driving cars and piloting airplanes. Liars don't use contractions, they like to formalize their language--deliberation is deception. Why do we have relationships? Companionship, sexual gratification or release, a sense of belonging--a dimmed sense of unmitigated loneliness. Loneliness seems the best natural state of humans. We do not learn as children how to be lonely, we just know somehow when we're born that ourselves aren't enough when pitted against the world in this arena. You're the same, you're the same, you're the same. The same as me, the same as me. I wonder: how lonely is everybody today? I'm feeling quite lonely, quite desperate. Natural inclination to breed and explore. What's the difference when it happens? Who do I wait for? Myself, my lonely self.
Relationships: some never leave one, some never need one. I need one.
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Oh jeez, I've been feeling the same way. It sucks because there have been/are guys that I like, but it seems that no one ever likes me. And I often wonder if anyone will ever love me. You're not the only lonely one out there.
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