Why is my professor so enigmatic? He has two personalities: funny, story telling, relaxed guy, and dull, monotonous, and boring lecturer. How odd, right? I see him more as a stand-up comedian rather than a math teacher. He knows his stuff too. But he's just so dull; somehow he manages to elongate the three and a half hour lecture to twenty years to life.
In other news, I've been feeling really nauseated lately. I have these headaches that give me stomach aches and even sore muscles. What's worse is that my terrible condition has been causing me to suffer bouts of insomnia. I finally got some relief yesterday when I went to bed sometime around 2 or 3--the earliest time in a few days. I think it was on Monday that I stayed up until 4, tossing and feeling smothered in my bed until I got up around 1:30 and did something else. What could be the cause of all this? Stress, perhaps, from my new class. Maybe an after-effect of my illness? Or maybe it's something much more.
I've been feeling pretty lonely lately. I have my family and all, but it's not enough, sadly. It's not the kind of loneliness family can fix. It's more of a romantic feeling. I'm sure of it. But I know I'm not in a good position to be with someone. I doubt I'm mature enough to handle all that stress wrapped in some 5'7'' bomb with brunette hair and a sweet smile. No sir, nuh-uh. But my instinctive mind doesn't know that. I'm a big believer in the things science can teach us. I know that the human mind possesses primitive thoughts of starting families and passing on genes that served our ancestors well long ago, but are somewhat less crucial nowadays. Of course, it's nice for our brains to be able to process information that tells us whether we're attracted to this or that person, but sometimes it's too much. And the urge to find someone to love is overbearing and insufferable, like the most extreme of discomforts--think hot bed sheets at night nailed to sitting still for too long mixed with feelings of despair from having the flu for a few days. Yeah.
But things are good. I must say that I have more than I need. I can't complain, nor should I--at least not very much. I've been treated well. I'm lucky.
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Your professor sounds a lot like my dad >.< He can talk about The Sopranos for 15 minutes without me saying anything.
ReplyDeleteHope you feel better! I can't stand not being able to sleep, it fuels my laziness :P
unfortunately I can completely relate your romantic loneliness feeling :( I'm sorry. Hopefully we'll either find someone and solve the problem or learn to love the single life. I'm hoping for the former...I'm done embracing the latter.
ReplyDeleteA three-and-a-half-hour math lecture would end me.
ReplyDeleteI used to pine for romance, too, but then I stopped caring. I think that I, like you, would be unequipped to handle someone high maintenance, but you don't necessarily have to wind up with the gorgeous girl who seems so fast paced.
I know that this will probably frustrate you, but if you approach college (and life in general) with the goal of just having fun and not worrying about if you find "the One," things will be a lot easier and relationships will eventually form.