One liner

I like to think that when I make a $50 or more pledge to PBS, my donated dollars do NOT go towards a secret plan to revive the late Mr. Rogers. *ripbillymays!*

Boo-Yah!

Bum Around Posts

Oh, look, another post
finally crawling to bed;
"Been out much?" I said,
not caring if tired were dead.

What good is a post if it doesn't come home
every day or every night?
You don't see it, you only feed it,
hoping it'll be home by light.

I truly love my posts,
that much I count to be true;
but I only wish they would be warm at home,
napping and purring by you.

Poem from 11-11-10

My Muse

You're leaving
on a night like this,
as snow drapes the city
and winds bring us closer?
So tomorrow will learn
life without you;
day will be dregs,
night will be space.
I know we are unique;
I'll never forget it.
So tomorrow you'll leave,
and all I can do
is freeze us in ice
and wait until spring--
with the equinox return--
to thaw us out,
to resume what we have.

Feelin' Saucy

Sometimes I feel like a failure. There are times when it hurts to keep going because the pressure and fear are too intense. There's nothing more I'd like to do than collapse and start sobbing and not stop until my whole body is calm again.

Yeah, sometimes I feel like a failure. But so what? Sometimes I feel like never showing my ugly face to another person for as long as I live, but so what?

I'll tell that fear to roll over, play dead, and go fetch; then we'll take a nap together in my backyard. If my fear bites me, I won't get too angry: it's not like I'll stop feeding him.

I'll watch my fear from the safety of my house as it hails thunder and hell around me. It'll drizzle softly on my roof and I'll fall asleep to it's hypnotic lull.

In fact, why don't we have some pain with our fear? I'll eat it with my hands and wipe the barbecue off my smiling face. (Vegan pain is also available, if you prefer.)

Okay, sure, sometimes I feel like a failure; sometimes my mind plays cruel games on me and I always get hurt (like getting a basketball thrown in your face); sometimes terror of failure seizes my soft stomach and shakes it violently until I can't take it anymore and black out emotionally; sometimes apathy wraps around my arms and crushes my sternum like how strong people do to weaker people when giving them hugs, and squeezes me so hard I stop breathing and bright life drips out of my ears like toothpaste. But so what?

This is life, and if you're alive right now, it's already begun.

It's been..."educational."

This week has been very education.

This week I learned that I am not a responsible or knowledgeable adult. I'm still a student, which means that I don't know very much. I'm young, which means my experience is limited and, while my potential to develop my mind is enormous, I'm still ignorant about the world. This doesn't apply to everyone, but it's definitely my opinion of myself.

I've learned about my faults the hard way. I've been confronted head-on with my laziness and apathy, and hung my head in shame. This was one of the most dramatic parts of this week.

This week was very humbling. I learned that I have to work hard for results. I also learned that I've been slacking-off way too much in school. Success isn't all about being the smartest; it's about working hard and sticking to one's commitments.

Yeah, this week was pretty tough. However, I'm glad for the wake-up call. It has shown me I have to prioritize my life, and work harder in school. I'm happy that I learned so many important lessons this week.

Is it so weird

that I rock out to this song?

A return?

I'm feeling better. I may just end of using this thing after all.