Feelin' Saucy

Sometimes I feel like a failure. There are times when it hurts to keep going because the pressure and fear are too intense. There's nothing more I'd like to do than collapse and start sobbing and not stop until my whole body is calm again.

Yeah, sometimes I feel like a failure. But so what? Sometimes I feel like never showing my ugly face to another person for as long as I live, but so what?

I'll tell that fear to roll over, play dead, and go fetch; then we'll take a nap together in my backyard. If my fear bites me, I won't get too angry: it's not like I'll stop feeding him.

I'll watch my fear from the safety of my house as it hails thunder and hell around me. It'll drizzle softly on my roof and I'll fall asleep to it's hypnotic lull.

In fact, why don't we have some pain with our fear? I'll eat it with my hands and wipe the barbecue off my smiling face. (Vegan pain is also available, if you prefer.)

Okay, sure, sometimes I feel like a failure; sometimes my mind plays cruel games on me and I always get hurt (like getting a basketball thrown in your face); sometimes terror of failure seizes my soft stomach and shakes it violently until I can't take it anymore and black out emotionally; sometimes apathy wraps around my arms and crushes my sternum like how strong people do to weaker people when giving them hugs, and squeezes me so hard I stop breathing and bright life drips out of my ears like toothpaste. But so what?

This is life, and if you're alive right now, it's already begun.