I guess

Introspective night. Watched the Michael Buble special tonight. Really talented person. Ate crispy chocolate chip cookies my sister made. had milk. Wonder if I'll ever overcome my anxiety and apply for a job. There's an offer for an internship at metro that my uncle told me about. pays not great, about 12.50, but it's an opportunity. with graduation upcoming, i must expect the inevitable rush and then blankness of my life unplanned. the strongest yearning for grad school is to delay the workforce for another two years. is that so? it's also to stay competitive in whatever field i enter. i know I'm capable of doing good work; i'm not the hardest worker, but given the right mood I can be. i don't wish to be a workaholic or anything; read poetry and work hard should be my motto. and i don't mean just poetry, but literature and film and tv shows too. you know: art. i study english literature for the past five and a half years, and i've only recently realized how lucky i am. i'm a student of not only rhetoric and composition, but of art and history, psychology and character development, anthropology and the finer points of thinking for one's self. so many assumptions put into our brains by heavy-handed media, how to sift, how to sift? watching ariana grande in the christmas special, an attractive young woman packaged to sell. sex and grace; a virgin yet chaste and sexy. what's the label say? it's funny that this entertainment is manufactured, while i assume it's natural. what is natural? what the philosophers try to figure out, i guess. i guess, i guess. "And though no more in folds of pleasure, / Kiss follows kiss in countless measure". read that today and thought, woah! nice. lord byron was a pervert anyway. where am i getting at in this post? it feels good to share my boredom and thoughts. it's only a a temporary relief though.